Everyone wants to feel confident. It’s one of the things that allows us to have certainty. Moreover, we are drawn to those who possess true self-confidence. Why? Because they emanate self-assuredness and this makes others around them feel safe and comfortable.
But more than just making others feel secure, confident people actually go further in life as well.
And this makes sense. After all, how can you reach your goals if you don’t have the confidence to believe you can attain them?
For this reason, confidence is essential.
However, you may be wondering how you can develop your confidence. Fair enough. If you’re interested in learning some of the best practices to build true self-confidence — keep reading.
Because in this post, we’re sharing 3 ways you can become more self-assured in your life.
1. Set & Achieve Goals
What is confidence? You may get a variety of different answers to this question depending on who you ask. But in my humble opinion, confidence is nothing more than feeling good about yourself and your ability to do something.
Whether it’s to achieve a goal, learn a skill, or perform an act, confidence is tied to your ability to do something.
This means you can manufacture true self-confidence by proving your competency to yourself. And how do you do that?
By setting and accomplishing goals…
Also, it doesn’t really matter what kind of goals you set, as long as they challenge you and force you to develop. This is because confidence is born out of overcoming challenges and surmounting obstacles.
When you recognize your ability to rise above difficulties to reach your coveted goal, true self-confidence begins to grow.
For this reason, you don’t want to set your goals too small or make them too easy. You want to challenge yourself. But at the same time, you also don’t want to make them too difficult either.
You want to find that middle ground, the happy medium, or the sweet spot between challenge and attainability.
A Simple Way to Start Setting and Achieving Goals to Build True Self-Confidence
So how do you start setting and achieving your goals? Easy… with a to-do list! Now, before you brush this concept off as too basic or rudimentary — hear me out.
Setting and achieving your big goals — like anything else in life — has small beginnings. It starts with you achieving minute tasks day in and day out to build your confidence. When you begin exercising, you don’t load up the barbell with the heaviest weights for your sets on the benchpress! You’ll injure yourself.
Instead, you build up to it — slowly — over time.
This is why having a to-do list is so important. It’s a slow progression of you accomplishing daily goals that incrementally builds your confidence.
Essentially, a to-do list is nothing more than an inventory of different objectives to accomplish before the day’s end. It’s goal-setting in its simplest form.
And although it may be a little primitive, it works. Because it turns you into a more goal-oriented person.
Each objective is a mini-goal unto itself. And by crossing off objective after objective on your list, you’ll begin to build more trust with yourself.
As a result, this additive self-trust will bolster your self-assuredness as you’ll see yourself as a person who actually has follow-through. In short, you develop the self-image of a goal-oriented individual.
And this brings us to our second best practice for building true self-confidence, which is to…
2. Keep Your Word
I’m sure you’ve heard of the expression “word is bond.” It’s an adage that has stood the test of time. And for good reason, saying what you mean and meaning what you say is the holy grail of rationality and trustability.
Consequently, it serves as a benchmark for self-trust and you guessed it — true self-confidence. Think of it this way…
How much confidence would you have in someone who lies, deceives, breaks their promises, and constantly says one thing but does another? If I were a betting man, I’d put everything on you not trusting this individual as far as you could throw him.
And guess what…
The same principle applies to you.
Do you make promises to yourself and then break them? Are you constantly failing to keep your word on things you told yourself you would do?
If so, it’s important to realize a few things that will occur if you continue this bad habit:
- You will lose trust and faith in yourself and your abilities
- Accomplishing your grandest goals and dreams will become impossible
- Friends, family, associates, etc, will lose confidence in you
- Your self-esteem will nosedive
Essentially, you will lose all trust and credibility not only with others, but with yourself as well if you fail to keep your word.
Start Keeping Your Word to Build True Self-Confidence
If you tell yourself you’re going to do something, do it. If you promise someone you’ll be somewhere, be there. Keep your word to yourself and to others. It’s called integrity.
This virtue goes a long way in life; not just in terms of building confidence, but also in your personal and professional relationships.
When people see you as a trustworthy, dependable, and reliable person, doors will open up for you.
Here are a few benefits that will happen when you begin to keep your word:
- Your relationships will strengthen
- You will develop more self-trust
- Faith in yourself and your abilities is bolstered
- You will attract good, quality people (and experiences) into your life
- Your credibility will increase
True self-confidence comes from believing in yourself, and the first step to self-belief is to follow through on the things you say — big or small — by keeping your word.
3. Take Risks
Confidence means not being afraid. And the only way to become fearless in an act or endeavor is to explore it thoroughly. Because once you step out of your comfort zone into the unfamiliar, guess what, all of a sudden, it becomes familiar.
Therefore, you gain more confidence. This is the importance of taking calculated risks in life.
Think about it, when you were learning to swim for example, initially, you were most likely terrified of the water. Jumping into a “bottomless” pool was outside of your comfort zone.
However, by jumping into the deep end anyway; and doing it repeatedly, slowly, you developed more confidence in that realm.
And more than likely, once you became proficient at it, that skill set led to confidence that was then transferred into others areas of your life.
It became like a domino effect. And it all happened because you were willing to take the risk.
Take Risks to Build True Self-Confidence
Where in your life do you feel like you’re not measuring up? We all have these areas. Areas that are below our personal standards of what we deem acceptable.
And when such is the case, usually the thing that’s holding us back in this area is fear. Fear that you’re not enough, fear that you don’t have what it takes, fear of failure, etc.
In these circumstances, most people convince themselves it’s safer to remain in their comfort zones rather than step into the unknown, face their fears, and grow into better and more confident people as a result.
Don’t let this be you.
Scope out the areas in your life where you’re letting fear control you. Maybe you’re afraid to travel, or scared to ask your crush out on a date, or terrified of telling people ‘no’.
Whatever the case, make the commitment to begin moving toward that which scares you most. Take baby steps and slowly chip away at your fears until they are replaced with true self-confidence.
You have to risk failure, embarrassment, setbacks, etc, in order to build confidence and move forward in your life.