Every day you have a choice: The gym or Netflix; working on your side hustle or scrolling social media; the bag of apples or the bag of chips, etc. Like an artist producing a portrait with each stroke of his paintbrush, your decisions are creating a composition on the canvas of your life. For this reason, it’s essential you make the right decisions. And this is where developing unrelenting self-discipline is required.
Self-control is the key to the good life. It opens doors of opportunity, generates positive qualities, and strengthens your character in countless other ways. And yet, it’s the one quality most people are sorely lacking.
So how do you develop unrelenting discipline? There are hundreds of tips, tricks, and tactics you can use; however, in my years of studying and living with this subject, I have found one to be more effective than anything else. And believe me, this will change everything for you…
The Power Of Accountability
Accountability is the foremost thing you should consider for developing discipline. Why? According to a study published by the American Psychological Association, you are significantly more likely to stick to your goals, habits, routines, etc., if you share your ambitions with someone.
However, there is a caveat to this idea…
The person you share your objectives with must either:
- Be someone you have a high degree of respect for, or…
- Be someone who is of higher social status than yourself
If either or both of these criteria are met, you have a much higher likelihood of following through on your intentions. Now, you may wonder why this is the case. It’s simple: No one wants to walk around with egg on their face in front of those they hold in high regard.
This process puts your feet to the fire. Moreover, it forces you to act in alignment with your goals to avoid the embarrassment of looking like a flake.
This is the power of having an accountability partner. Still don’t see the value in what I’m talking about? Fair enough. Let’s dig a little deeper and explore how an accountability partner can help you develop unrelenting self-discipline…
How An Accountability Partner Can Help You Cultivate Self-Control
If you’ve ever had a job, you know a certain degree of performance and work ethic is required (and expected) to maintain your position. Moreover, the boss watches to ensure these demands are met. Failing to meet that standard will cost you the privilege of your employment; now, this may not be the best analogy to illustrate my point, but it gets the idea across.
Think of your accountability partner as “the boss” who ensures you will meet your own standards of performance. They help you keep your code of conduct on track and aimed at your goals. This can change everything for you. Your accountability partner helps you:
- Parameterize your behaviour so it aligns with your ambitions
- Recognize when you’re losing your focus and motivation
- Stay on track when you start making excuses
- Concentrate on the advantages of following through
- Remember why you started in the first place
Despite these benefits, it’s not enough just to find someone you trust and tell them about your goals. If you want to develop unrelenting self-discipline toward your objectives, an accountability partner is only the first step.
The real magic begins when you…
Put Some Skin In The Game
You could find the ideal person to hold you accountable; it could be someone you know, like, trust, and who shares similar goals and interests. However, if nothing sizeable is on the line, the incentive to follow through is almost non-existent. So what’s the solution?
Get some skin in the game…
There must be consequences if you fail to keep your word and adhere to your own standards. Otherwise, it becomes too easy to revert back to your old ways when things get hard—and believe me, things will get hard. With this in mind, you may wonder what can you do to add this “encouragement.”
Here’s what I’ve done (hopefully this will give you some inspiration): If I fail to adhere to my daily disciplines, I will owe my accountability partners a total of $3000.
Do you think I’m going to slip up with that much on the line? Not a chance…
I am vigilant every day to ensure I’m not dropping the ball because there is a lot at stake. The result? I’m forced to exercise unrelenting self-discipline in all that I do.
How To Implement This Principle In Your Life
I have four accountability partners in my life. One is a family member and the other three a good friends whom I trust and deeply respect. As such, I’ve learned a few practical ways this principle can be implemented to ensure unrelenting self-discipline in your life:
- Find the right person: Your choice of accountability partner should not be taken lightly. Enlist someone you know, like, and trust. Moreover, ensure that they share similar goals and interests; meaning, find someone who is also driven and motivated in their life as well. A person with no interest in improving and becoming better is a poor choice for an accountability partner for obvious reasons.
- Goal/habit sharing:Â Unless you share the goals you want to achieve or habits you want to adopt with your accountability partner, how can they possibly hold you accountable to them? Send them a list of your ambitions via text or email so it’s “written in stone” and your accountability partner knows what you’re aiming at.
- Parameterize failure:Â Of course, your goal is to win; however, if clear boundaries aren’t defined regarding what constitutes winning and losing, then it becomes all too easy to bend the truth and rationalize in favour of the behaviours you’re trying to quit. So set clear parameters for failure.
- Weekly check-ins: Set up a weekly check-in time with your accountability partner. Give them a call at the end of every week to keep them updated on your progress. During these calls, you can discuss different ways to improve. For example, you can talk about any challenges you had during the week and then brainstorm ways to counteract them.
Next Step: Find Your Accountability Partner to Create Unrelenting Self-Discipline In Your Life
I used to believe I could do it all on my own. I relished the “lone wolf” mentality. But the truth is no man is an island; there’s only so much you can do by yourself before you need to enlist the help of others to get you to that next level. And there’s nothing wrong with this. So if you want to develop unrelenting self-discipline, consider finding an accountability partner who will ensure you get there.
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